Richter City Home season 2015: #4 Final Brutal Pageant vs Smash Malice

The original Wellington Richter City Roller Derby teams, Brutal Pageant and Smash Malice, fought for the 2015 title. Smash Malice was severely lacking in crowd support, possibly due to them holding the cup for the last two seasons.

The programme must have been printed early as there were a few peripheral changes. Tuff Bikkies and former RCRD skater Venom De Plume were MCing for the night. They provided a good level of detail which paired with the demonstration of fouls at the start of the match and head ref Referend Bear explanations during the game made it much easier for derby virgins, and seasoned veterans alike to understand. It’s a shame that it has taken so many years to get to this level. The NSO’s were very monochrome with the absence of Skathing Grace. Dragonball Lee stepped into her place as head NSO for the evening. The roster was filled out with several visiting NSO’s from Palmerston North. A surprise half time show by children from Leaping Lizards School Of Dance was a welcome addition.

It was good to see Meat Train bounding around the venue to support her former team mates, along with a vocal contingent from Wanganui there to cheer for Vicious Vege.

Our picks for MVP were Bailey’s Comet and Dolly Didit, neither of whom are generally the first to come to mind as Richter’s stronger jammers, but did some exceptional work during the night. Burn Witch Burn took a lot of hits and was visibly tired toward the end of the game. There was one suspected injury but Cher Trouble was back on track later in the game.

The scores remained close in the first half. At half time it was 97-89 to Malice. In the second half Malice pulled further ahead but towards the end of the game the scores evened up again and at three minutes before full time the score was even at 172. The crowd were screaming in the final jam as both jammers were sent to the penalty box and it could have been anyone’s game. Brutal Pageant, the crowd favourites, took the cup. Final score was 182 Smash Malice to 190 Brutal Pageant.


Next game: That was the final of the home season. Richter City will play Christchurch’s Dead End Derby on 5 September. They last played each other on Wellington soil in 2011. Both A and B (or “development”) teams will play in a double header starting at 5pm.

You can get tickets here.

Little Women

Wellington Repertory Theatre are currently staging Little Women at Gryphon Theatre. If you loved the book as a child no doubt you’ll enjoy seeing the characters come to life on stage.

The play suffers from trying to fit too many separate scenes into such a short time. The first half, the original Little Women, dragged despite jumping from episode to episode. There were drawn out silences as curtains were swept across the background scene. The second half, based on Good Wives, allowed for more character development, particularly explaining the relationship between Laurie and Amy which had been unsatisfying in the book. There were some moving moment based around Beth including an effective moment where she is revealed as too good and pure for this world.

Aunt March was especially good, despite an occasionally slipping accent. Meg and Laurie unfortunately looked too old for their roles which was extremely distracting but may have been a necessary evil to transition from childhood to adulthood. But the biggest casting error was casting the same actor for Mr March and the Professor, thereby making Jo fall for the man who played her father. It was unintentionally uncomfortable perhaps in part because of the lack of any sort of foundation for their relationship.

There was other unintentional humour as modern interpretations of words or events differ from when the book was published. The March girls are just as grating on stage as they are in print; broad caricatures of types rather than real people and insufferably good. An onlooker may have thought the play was staged by a religious group, helped along with the idea by the choral singing from the wings – sometimes at levels which made it difficult to hear dialogue. A line from the play is particularly apt “get rid of the moralising and stick to the drama.”

Performances: 12-15 & 20-22 August, 8pm; 16 August, 3pm; 19 August 6.30pm
Tickets: $25
To book: 479 3393 or bookings@wellingtonrepertory.org.nz

The Ugly One

"Great theatre is about challenging how we think and encouraging us to fantasize about a world we aspire to" - Willem Dafoe

The above quote graces the cover of the Circa programme, it is particularly apt in relation to The Ugly One. Physical attractiveness is rewarded in our society despite it not being an indicator of any actual virtue. Imagine a world where we were judged on our character or conduct rather than the symmetrical beauty of our faces.

Expertly translated from German the dialogue flicks between overlapping characters and scenes, an unobservant viewer could easily lose track of events. The set design is modern, minimalist, simple and elegant; the actors in grey suits blend well to create a harmonious image. Only one actor plays a single character; the other three juggle two characters a piece often swapping between them mid-sentence.

Performances: 11 July − 7 August 7:30pm (No Monday Show), Sundays 4:30pm

Tickets: $25-46

Yours Truly

Jack The Ripper is probably the most well known serial killer; quite a feat for someone who lived over 100 years ago. The script is award winning and is similar to the plot line of the 2001 film From Hell (itself based on a graphic novel). Both draw from the writings of Stephen Knight. Although his theories have caused much interest they do not appear to have much support from historians.


Yours Truly is the first Backyard Theatre production I’ve seen. The setting was familiar as were some of the actors and backstage crew from many Stagecraft productions. The play jumped between short scenes, some with recorded audio, in a disjointed way. Characters selfish actions and inability to recognise or adhere to their place in society cause the tragedy. The first half is a love story so beautiful that I didn’t want the second half, and what I knew it would contain, to come. There is no overt brutality; though I almost expected blood to be thrown about the stage. Misdirection is more convincing due to an actor whose face resembles the skull beneath. The accents are good and hearing modern swearing in this context gives it more impact.


The subject matter is disturbing, as you’d expect from a piece on Jack The Ripper. Few plays stray towards the thriller genre so if you’re a fan you’ll enjoy this.


Venue: Gryphon Theatre

Performances: 8-11 & 16-18 July 7:30pm; 14-15 July 6:30pm

Tickets: $20-25

Richter City Home season 2015: #3 Brutal Pageant vs Comic Slams

The third game of the Richter City home season was much less exciting than the second. No injuries, only two foul outs, no last minute victory.

Again Dolly Didit and Vicious Vegie proved to be formidable jammers, solidly assisting Anna Pave-U’Ova rack up those Brutal points. Injuries on the Slams bench meant they had to rope in some Malice skaters to don the cobalt and silver, chosen were Princess Slayer and Volcanic Ash, who featured as the main jammers for Slams. Newcomers Sting, Custom Chaos (both Comic Slams), Tarenosaurus Wrex, Anna KausaComa and Greta Growler (all Pageant) are finding their wheeled feet and appearing more and more confident in their respective teams. Pageant have clearly been practising their blocker strategies, with several demonstrations of a group of plays where they used their player advantage to sweep the Slams blockers away from the path of their jammer.

Firecrackah, new to Wellington this year, was chosen to jam the final jam for Slams, her first time jamming for Wellington. Unfortunately during a fall she suffered a skate malfunction that rendered the skate useless, forcing a panty pass to Sweaty Pig as they both came straight out of the Hell Pizza Penalty Box, one of many panty passes during the night.

Brutal Pageant once again took an early lead, this time over Comic Slams. A lead they maintained throughout the match. For a brief moment in the second half it looked like Comic Slams would rise to the occasion but Brutal Pageant maintained their lead, winning the game by over 100 points. The final score was Brutal Pageant 276 : Comic Slams 170.

The next game is the season final where Brutal Pageant will face off against Smash Malice on August 22nd. If you’d like to see some derby before then the West Coast Bombers of Wanganui will visit Kapiti Coast Derby Collective for their first bout in Otaki on July 26th.

The 39 Steps

The opening night of Stagecraft's production of The 39 Steps was sold out, if everyone attending enjoyed it as much as I did, the rest of the season will be too. I admit to being a fan of Stagecraft but on the evening in question I did not want to brave the Wellington weather, I was sick, cold and tired. It’s a testament to how good the production was that even though I felt awful I genuinely enjoyed myself.

A minimalist, adaptable set of what appears to be cardboard boxes, a lamp and solitary chair take the action from a London flat, to a train, to the Scottish highlands. The minimalist cast take on many roles with main character being the only one static. Stagecraft regulars will recognise Lydia Harris in the more serious female roles.

So what are the 39 Steps? The secret won’t be revealed till the very end of the play. Based on a novel and movie this most recent interpretation is a comedy of farcical proportions. Who are the good guys? Who are the bad guys? Which character is that actor playing? Wait, didn't that guy just get shot? It'll keep you guessing.

Take note of the warning about strobe lighting. Dry ice is also used during the performance.

Tickets: $15-25
Performances: 24th - 27th June 7.30pm; 28th June 3pm; 30th June 6.30pm; 2nd - 4th July 7.30pm

Gayby Baby

I managed to squeeze in one viewing before the Documentary Edge Festival finishes tomorrow. All films are being screened at The Roxy in Miramar rather than scattered throughout the city as in previous years. The cinema is beautifully restored and the food interesting without being pretentious. It has enjoyed a huge rebirth since Weta workshops swapped their patronage from The Embassy.  In choosing my one film I wanted something that would be entertaining as well as meaningful, so no fluff films. I wanted to avoid anything harrowing that might give me nightmares or leave me frustrated with the state of the world, this left out most political items. Of the almost 60 festival offerings I chose Gaby Baby.

The film follows four children of same sex couples; three boys, one girl; three female same sex couples, one male same sex couple. By the title you might think the film is about how same sex couples have children - adoption, surrogacy, donation - but it is about the children being raised by same sex couples. Interestingly their parentage is only background; the children themselves are the focus of the piece.

It is astounding that children often have greater insight than their parents. A conservative christian mother encourages her son to ask questions, going so far as to set up an awkward interview with the pastor, before leaving the church that rejects her and her relationship. To him, the answer is obvious. He loves his mother; so should God. He writes a speech to give to the Prime Minister about same sex marriage but, normally articulate and confident, is too flustered but says it quite calmly to the cameras waiting outside. The same sex marriage debate is particularly relevant in Australia now (thankfully we have it sorted here) as a married heterosexual couple plan to protest any change in legislation by divorcing.

What comes through very strongly as that these are normal families dealing with normal family problems. A child is sick, learning is hard, money is tight, there are aspirations to be met. It strikes me as unfair that some of these children also have to deal with prejudice. Although it never actually rears its ugly head it is waiting in the background influencing choices about where to go to school and what to tell people about your family. There is love here; between a parent and child, between child and new parent, between partners and most touchingly between siblings.

The four storylines converge at the Sydney mardi gras where the children are shown just being kids, being themselves, as part of their family and part of their community.

You can find out more about the film on their website.

Richter City Home season 2015: #2 Smash Malice vs Brutal Pageant

Saturday’s bout between Smash Malice and Brutal Pageant was a return to real derby. There were a lot of derby virgins in the crowd, several injuries, masses of penalties and a race to the finish. It was the most fun I’d had at a game since the first season when the game was new and personalities were large.

This year has seen skaters commentating; it was Beatrix Kiddo’s turn on the mic this Saturday. I especially enjoyed the skater trivia she threw in every now and then. It was however observed that at times the commentators would interact with those in the suicide seats, ignoring those in the main stands, who ended up frustrated they didn’t get a look in for spot prizes.

New transfer to the league, Vicious Vegie, from River City Rollers in Wanganui, made herself known to the Wellington crowds with fancy footwork and a fun-filled attitude, whilst fellow Pageant skater Dolly Didit certainly did do her share to increase the points. Malice also had a transfer (May Maim from Dunedin Derby via Hellmilton Roller Ghouls) who showed her smashing skills, while Wellington regulars Bailey’s Comet and Volcanic Ash keep getting stronger. Newbie Anna KausaComa, who’s name is too close to another players for comfort, impressed in her debut.

Gael Force was bench managing for Pageant on crutches. Others joined her on the injury list throughout the game. Veruc Assault, in her first game, was the first major injury. Skanda Lass was secreted away in the changing room for the second half of the match to be taken to hospital at the end. Her knee injury may not be as serious as was originally feared. Invader Sin also appeared to be in some pain but continued to play.

Smash Malice took an early lead which Brutal Pageant caught up to just before half time. But early in the second half Malice took back the lead and proceeded to, well, smash, Pageant. There were so many players sent out of the game that in the last jam every available Malice skater was on the track. With minutes left it looked like the only chance for Pageant to win would be for another Malice player to be sent out thereby causing them to forfeit.

Final score 233 to 230, taken out by Brutal Pageant, thanks to a massive 30+ point jam from Anna Pave-U’Ova, not beating her current record of a 40 point jam. Pave continues to be one of the strongest jammers in the league and shone throughout the match.

Next game: 4 July, Comic Slams vs Brutal Pageant

Sleeping Around

Newly formed Nextstage are "awakening" theatre in Lower Hutt with their production of Sleeping Around written and performed by Hutt local Geraldine Brophy. Although there are local production companies, given the quality that has been coming out of Hutt Repertory lately, this is welcome. Not on par with the likes of Circa it is a step up from other offerings.

I'm not sure whether two red heads were chosen on purpose or if it was just a lucky coincidence. Two women of similar age and same coloured hair are otherwise outwardly very different. They form a bond in a ridiculous setting of an indoor camp and come to realise that although different they face the same struggles. Sympathy for others transcends class and cultural barriers in this funny play.

Nextstage have a full program for the rest of the year mostly based at the Little Theatre in Lower Hutt.

Venue: Little Theatre, Lower Hutt
Performances: 7:30pm, 6-14 May
Tickets: $35

Richter City Home season 2015: #1 Smash Malice vs Comic Slams

Last years champions Smash Malice faced off against Comic Slams in the opening game of the 2015 Richter City Roller Derby Home Season.

Each skater and official involved in the bout sported something teal on their person and were fundraising for Lifeline Aotearoa in remembrance of a young transgender derby skater in the States who recently committed suicide resultant from the struggles of transitioning.  As MCs Ghetto Anger and Ella Kazam were telling the crowd this information and sharing Lifeline Aotearoa's details, it became the only time we've heard a derby crowd be completely silent.

Early in the first half, Smash Malice cemented a strong lead, we believe leading from playing heavily their strong seasoned jammers such as Princess Slayer and Skanda Lass, whilst Comic Slams were giving some of their new skaters such as Maulberry Jam and Custom Chaos some time wearing the star panty alongside the likes of experienced and very experienced Invisigirl and Tuff Bikkies.  It felt like it had been an age since we last saw Bikkies jam as much as she did on Saturday, and she showed us she hasn't lost her magic in this role.

Lots of strong walls and heavy hits were abundant during the bout, leading to an already strapped Invisigirl catching a hit (or several) to her shoulder leading her to be subbed out of the penalty box to visit the St John's staff in attendance. While she returned to the bench a few jams later, the heavy hits on all skaters continued.  Bailey's Comet, Bubble O'Kill and Volcanic Ash put in a lot of good work supporting the Malice jammers in all roles, just as we saw strong support coming from MillerGnomer over in Slams.

Newbies that we want to keep our eye on this season were May Maim skating for Malice, and Maulberry Jam on Comic Slams, but we look forward to seeing more of all of them!

The final score ended up as Smash Malice's 222 to Comic Slam's 107.

If you’re out and around the North Island this ANZAC day after honouring our war heroes, the Richter City All Stars are taking on the Swamp City Roller Rats (Palmerston North) All Stars at 6pm in Palmerston North.  Check the Facebook event page for more details.  Additionally, the Convicts are in Napier participating in a double header against Bay City Rollers’ Iron Maidens (who played the All Stars in November last year), whilst Bay City’s Twisted Sisters take on Rotorua’s Sulphur City Steam Rollers from 4pm.

Support Richter City by getting your 2015/16 Entertainment Book through them.  I’ve a feeling they’ll want some help getting to Australia for a tournament in June, so if Entertainment Books aren’t your thing, keep an eye out on their Facebook page for other ways you might be able to help the travel fund.

Next game: 23 May, Smash Malice vs Brutal Pageant.