Carousel Cabaret June 2012

Carousel is back with a bang! Following a six month hiatus Carousel returned Friday night at their new home The San Francisco Bathhouse.

The place was packed. I'm not sure whether it was because people really missed Carousel or the excellent line up. Local burlesque personality Venus Starr, the shows producer, made her debut at Carousel. Also making appearances were the current Miss Burlesque NZ, Willow Noir; and first Miss Burlesque NZ, Miss la Belle; NZ's only burlesque troupe, The Alltogethers; and audience favourites Tinka Lovelocks; and The Magenta Diamond. The large number of people there meant the street was crowded (compounded by the narrow entrance) and inside it was difficult to see unless you had booked your tickets and therefore had a seat.

The San Francisco Bathhouse was certainly not big enough for the crowd.  If attendance stays at this level I hope Venus would consider a second show on the Saturday night; she did try it once before. However, towards the end of last year attendance was dwindling so this may be temporary spike. The huge space is not well laid out for a show. Everything was focused on the stage. The lounge area at the back could have been utilsed to give the ladies from Poleclass room to demonstrate (and not have a stream of people walking across their stage to access the bathrooms). The artist who was painting throughout the night may have had more chance to engage with the audience.

Everyone was excited to see Venus Starr perform. Her energy lit up the stage and her professionalism carried her though a wardrobe malfunction smoothly. I'm surprised these things don't happen more often, corsets are tricky things. I was not terribly impressed with The Alltogethers though they have improved since I saw them last; one smiled nervously through both acts which I kept focusing on. Their second act was better than the first but I would have preferred another performer twice. Miss la Belle impressed with highly detailed fans and a shiny wing/cape for a fan dance inspired by the movie Metroplis (thank you for pointing this out as I have never heard of it!). Willow Noir scandalised the audience with her title winning naughty nun act. The Magenta Diamond performed two strange acts with a creepy sweet little girl smile on her face. The messiest act of the night was a visual feast from Tinka Lovelocks the set up for which meant extra (dirty) jokes from the MC Pitor. Aesthetically this act was well placed but the logistics of the set up and clean up bored the audience, it may have been better placed at one side of a break.

Apart from getting a sore neck from straining to see, and sore feet from standing, it was a great night. And we even managed to raise money for charity. I'm already planning my outfit for next month. I'm so excited Carousel is back!

Venue: San Francisco Bathhouse
Date: Friday 29 June, 8pm
Price: $35

Dick Smith Electronics - Featherston Street

I went into Dick Smiths looking for a specific cord to match an item that had lost the cord for. I wandered around looking lost but was not approached by any staff members. I had to walk directly up to one sales assistant and catch their eye. I commented on my wait and was told there weren't many staff on the floor - even though I had walked past three idle people at the counter. The layout of the shop may be partly to blame as the checkout in the middle obscures staff views of customers, including the view of the entrance.

The staff member found me exactly what I wanted. I wouldn't have been able to find it for myself as it was tucked away in a back corner. I did however point out a cheaper product which tuned out to also be more appropriate as I didn't need to alter the voltage manually.

I smiled sunnily at the staff member who severed me at the counter (who had been there when I walked past earlier) but only got a tight smile in reply.

I wasn't impressed with the service overall but I did end up with a product that performed the function I required.

Weight loss: Before photo with Ian Tilley Photography

I’m thrilled to tell you (a little belatedly) that we have secured a photographer for the weight loss project.

Ian Tilley is based in Upper Hutt but happy to travel around Wellington for his work. Photography is his passion, not his full time job. About 10 years ago Ian documented his own weight loss which is why he is so excited to be part of mine.

He had the great idea of photographing me in silhouette. This way you can get an idea of my body shape and eventual weight loss but I can maintain my privacy. Well, let’s be honest, it’s not privacy I’m worried about, I’m just shy.

I am really happy to be working with Ian. He understands where I am coming from because he has been here. I felt comfortable throughout the process despite the fact that I was letting it all hang out.

So, this is my before photo. We have planned to take a photo each month to track my progress. Then you’ll know that I’m doing this and not just writing about it.

When I look at this photo the word that comes to mind is grotesque. This is not how I look in my head, or even in the mirror. I don’t think that I could leave the house everyday if this was what I looked like in my head.

I had hoped by this point to have started my weight loss. But, we are still talking with weight loss companies so haven’t come to an official decision. Unofficially I know who I want to go with; they have good structure which I need. At the end of this week I should know and then be able to tell you all. There are whispers that other reviewers also want to do this.

I’m looking forward to starting. I have been noticing the problems that my weight causes; I feel unattractive, I get breathless easily and my stomach gets in my way. My stomach is larger than a friend's who is six months pregnant and I weigh more than a full term pregnant woman. How much do I actually weigh? You'll have to wait to find out when I do my official first weigh in.

Come back next week to find out which weight loss program I will be following.

Special thanks to: Ian Tilley Photography and Jenny Craig

2012 Wellington Home Exhibition (Homeex)

We are in the midst of renovating our bathroom but really we only went to this show because we got free tickets. Unless you are wanting to do something major, spend big money, there isn't any point in attending.

The TSB arena is a good venue; well heated in comparison to the outside. The set out was easy to follow and they have good toilets too (a necessary evil when you have kids). The stallholders overall were firendly but not pushy about buying. There were quite a few competitions but again, no one was pushing you to enter them. Because of this there was a lovely atmosphere. There was good variety of stalls and it was great that they had little seminars at different times during the day. Experts were available which you could book a time to speak with which I think is an excellent idea. It is unfortunate that we are too far into the process to be able to take advantage of this.

One of the best things was that the third stall from the entrance served coffee. The vibration training staff were helpful and knowledgeable; putting people on free demonstrations and talking them through, answering all the questions patiently. I was grateful that the two photography places catered to children because you have to take your kids to these things, it's hard to get a babysitter for the day. Photographing families is also their market. One photo place was giving free fridge magnets (created from photos of the kids). They say there is no such thing as a free lunch but actually there was a free fridge magnet. Several of the other places had lollies for the kids, having these diversions becomes important when you want to have detailed conversations without kids pulling on you and breaking your concentration.

I didn't see a lot of advertising beforehand; it was only because we were given free tickets that we knew this was on. It would have been helpful if more stalls had business cards with the website listed. It is impossible to take everything in, I would want to go home and research. Big pamphlets can be bulky, wasteful and expensive for the business to print. Having a a laptop with their website up would have been useful too, they can point out where to look when you go home.

When: 8-10 June
Where: TSB Arena
Price: $8
You can find out more on the exhibition webpage

Weight loss intro

Have you ever mentioned something in passing and the person you mentioned it to not only remembered but took it seriously? Well, that happened to me. Which is how I've ended up here.

Here is intending to share my personal weight loss journey with who ever chooses to read about it.

Why am I doing this? (Apart from my boss telling me to) I have three reasons:
1. I'm 30 (ahhh!) and I am aware that it gets harder to lose weight the older you get.
2. I want to have kids. Being overweight lowers your fertility. I'd also like to be healthy during my pregnancy (and lose the weight more easily afterwards).
3. When I have the aforementioned kids I would like to be a good example.

I don't know how this is going to work. My boss is still figuring that out. There have been talks about me working with a personal trainer, taking photos every week (ek!), or simply having every review that contains anything physical thrown at me. It is dependent on who wants to work with me on this, you will get to read all about them in my posts. If your business would be interested in participating or you have a recommendation then message Wellington Reviews and let me know.

I don't know if this is going to work either. I've tried losing weight before and I quit. I like food. I don't like exercise. I do not intend to put my health at risk by doing one of those diets where you eat next to nothing and take drops or drink shakes. In my mind the perfect balance comes down to diet, exercise and some sort of support or counselling.

Very tentatively I say I am going to do this. I can't guarantee that I'll stick to it or get the results I want but I am going to try.


Let me know in the comments here or on Facebook if you have any questions or suggestions.

Special thanks to: Ian Tilley Photography and Jenny Craig

Bluebridge

Reasons to love Bluebridge:
- it’s cheaper than the other options
- the Wellington terminal is right across from the train station (and the backpackers)
- free movies

Do you remember when Bluebridge first started taking passengers? Well, passengers that weren’t truck drivers. You might remember that they weren’t so fancy. Not so now. I was lucky enough to sail on the Straitsman, the newest ship in the Bluebridge fleet and on the Cooks Strait.

The Straitsman is beautiful, it reminded me of a cruise ship. And they even have cabins that you can book! (Or if you’re lucky, and some aren’t booked, get one for free). It is a huge step up from what I remember.

I was planning to nab one of those cabins on my return but was sadly on another boat. They still had free movies to entertain me the whole trip (the same movie on two screens – the other boat played different movies so you had a choice). My one complaint was that the toilets blocked on this sailing. Honestly, I think the passengers, me included, were too embarrassed to tell the staff otherwise it would’ve been fixed. I know people complain about the price of food but it is comparable to a café on shore.

This was the first time I drove my car on the boat. As you can imagine I was nervous. Both terminals were very well organised though it is much easier at the purpose built terminal in Picton. They do a great job of working with what they have on the Wellington wharf. I was most worried about actually driving on the ship but whenever I wasn’t sure where I was meant to go a staff member would appear as if by magic.

Both sailings were fully booked full everyone was well behaved. We were lucky to not experience adverse weather or any delays that it could have caused.

The Bluebridge sails daily between Wellington and Picton
Prices vary

RCRD Game 2 2012: Smash Malice vs Brutal Pageant

As a long time fan of Roller Derby - a regular when it started gaining attention 2-3 years ago - I feel that there's just something that's *changed* about Derby. The *feel* of it has gone almost. I still enjoy it - people still dress up (someone going full out in an Elmo costume) and there are still prizes for home-made signs, but the little things could just make it so much better (explained further below).

The night starts off only 7 minutes late - a nice change as other games I have been to usually start about 15-30 minutes late. They have new sponsors in ZM and each team has bigger and more official banners.

Instead of the MCs explaining how derby works while the teams warm up, they asked people to pair up with those who have never been before. I really think the explanation of how the game works could be done better - people I knew there who had never been before had no clue what was going on.

An avid supporter of Brutal Pageant, it's going to be an awful lose to Smash Malice. This team used to be so good! What happened?! Where has Perky Nah Nah gone? She hasn't been in this team for a long time I can say one really good change to the Derby community - the fact that Boston Backlash no longer MC's.

So on the subject of MC's - last night they felt awkward. They didn't fit together as a group, didn't have a smooth flow, and were quite hard to hear at times.  They had a hard time getting a response from the crowd.

The half time entertainment was local ceroc group performing to a couple of songs. They had a good response from the audience, though I still miss The Hot Bitches - the cheerleading squad from a couple of years ago. They were just fantastic and always funny. Bring them back.

Brutal are still losing, badly. . Referee DangerDanger keeps the crowd entertained with some of his specialist roller dancing whilst an official time out is taking place. There's about 10 minutes to go. The MCs keep insisting that Brutal may make a come back.

And with a lose of about 200 to 90, it's time to go home.

Pole Dance Aotearoa

Every Tuesday night Pole Dance Aotearoa holds a free introductory class to give everyone a taste of pole dancing. The studio is hidden in Edward Street, off Victoria, a street I didn't even know existed (though it has some great looking establishments down there that I'll have to investigate). A steep flight of stairs leads up to the studio, it is unfortunate that only the top half of the staircase is lit, especially on a dark Autumn evening. I would not like to navigate them in heels. I liked the practice rooms - big windows, wooden floor and mirrors. However, it required a good clean - as did the poles (ew! we practiced moves that put our crotch right up against them) - and the dying plants were gasping for water. There was writing all over the mirrors; no doubt this was useful for instructors taking the class but it just looked messy.

The moves taught were quite complex. The teaching technique was step by step which was very effective. They also developed the moves they initially taught later in the class so it felt like we were improving. We were proudly informed as we arrived that we would be instructed by the best male pole dancer in the country. He wore boxer briefs and spoke to the class in the mirror which I found weird. He made me feel uncomfortable, I'm not sure whether it was because he was male or because he was wearing minimal clothing or because he didn't face the class. There were also three female instructors who walked around to give pointers to students individually, they were obviously very talented but also made me uncomfortable, I don't know why.

The class was overfull; in some cases there were 3 people to a pole. But as this was a free introduction class, it was expected. I assume that if you are paying (and booking) you get your own pole to work on.  My fellow students were young, very young. I overheard some of them discussing how they would explain their bruises (from smacking themselves on the pole) to their parents.

Overall I feel this was a good introduction to the basics of pole dancing, but think that much could be done to the place and the teaching to make improvements to help newcomers feel welcome and comfortable, the class did not tempt me to want to go back.

Venue: 19 Edward Street
Class: Tuesdays 6.30
Price: FREE

Theatresports

I remember theatresports from high school, back when they measured by forms rather than years. It is more popularity recognised through Who's Line is it Anyway? I attended the opening night of The Improvisors season of of Theatresports at Circa last Sunday night. The show is performed in Circa Two (where I did actually watch high school theatresports once) a more intimate theatre than Circa One.

You may have never been to the theatre and had to call anything out before but that is what is expected here. Each show is different; the performers rotate (from what i understand) and the content is based heavily on audience suggestions.  You could attend every show and have a unique experience each time. Audience participation is key "the show you get is the show you deserve."

Two teams of three performers compete to win the night. Scoring is based off audience applause, a system I prefer to that of the high school scoring which was based on technique (I want to enjoy the show, don't you?). I am sure that at certain points the performers tried to make it harder for each other; one example I remember was a rhyming interview about soccer playing elephants which was interpreted (hilariously) for the hearing impaired.

John Banks was a recurring theme of last Sundays show throughout the different games including a love song created just for him. The highlight was the gibberish opera; the two performers who were selected to do this game could really sing, I was blown away by the pipes on the female performer especially. 

Tonight was the final night of another Improvisors show, History Never Repeats which I didn't get a chance to see. The second show in the Theatresports series is on tomorrow night, go check it out and let us know what you thought.

Written and Directed by the Improvisors
Circa Two
29 April - 1 July
Sundays 7pm
Price: $18/15
See the Circa information page here

TJ McDonald: My Life Has Been a Series of Poorly Made Decisions

I was lucky enough to attend the debut of this show last night and I think his decision to chose comedy as a career was not at all a poorly made one. TJ is not as fat or funny looking as he thinks. This is a bit of a backhanded compliment as he uses both of these as part of his act. I found him quite charming with a nice easy manner, he spoke with good diction and a lot of intentional cheese. Some of the jokes missed their mark but that depends heavily on the crowd.

The set up is very simple: 3 boards on a stage.
1. lessons I have learnt
2. things I will not apologise for
3. Dad Jokes (you know the ones)
He used the boards to punctuate his jokes throughout the show. I hadn't seen a comedian use props before unless they were specifically part of the act (like the boy with tape on his face) but it worked really well.

I'm not sure what to say without ruining all this jokes. The theme music was over the top and added to the humour. TJ warmed up the crowd well and was fairly gentle on them but then I don't think you can be too mean in such a small venue, the crowd was in return very receptive.

As to the venue itself, well, I've been there before. I knew to get their early so I could get a seat and wouldn't end up stuck on the couches at the back. I was not impressed with having to pay for water but perhaps I should've asked for a glass of tap water. The free condoms in the bathroom just made me feel old but well done for providing them. The ticket collecting at the door was a bit disorganised, this probably had more to do with TJ's generosity with tickets then anything else. They are squeezing in the shows with another comedian on half an hour after TJ's set finished.

All in all it was a great show with something to offend everyone and "if you don't like it you can go back to your own country...your marae...or your kitchen."

Venue: Fringe Bar
Time/date: 1-5 May, 7-8pm (15-19th in Auckland)
Get your tickets here